The Chaos (1922)

THE CHAOS. A poem on English pronunciation by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité Dearest creature in creation, Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which is said to rime with darky. Ivy, privy; famous; clamour, And enamour rime with "Hammer". Stranger does not rime with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Query does not rime with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Reefer does not rime with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Don't you think so, reader, rather Saying lather, bather, father? Finally: which rimes with "Enough" through, plough, cough, hough or tough? Hiccough has the sound of "Cup", My advice is... give it up!